"The murder rate among black teenagers has climbed since 2000 even as murders by young whites have scarcely grown or declined in some places, according to a new report. The celebrated reduction in murder rates nationally has concealed a “worrisome divergence,” said James Alan Fox, a criminal justice professor at Northeastern University who wrote the report, to be released Monday, with Marc L. Swatt. And there are signs, they said, that the racial gap will grow without countermeasures like restoring police officers in the streets and creating social programs for poor youths."
See full article in The Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/29/us/29homicide.html
Reading this is after California voted against a proposition to fund restorative and treatment programs for youthful offenders, instead voting for a stronger police presence and stricter punishments for gang affiliated youth, has me sick to my stomach.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
the spectacle
So, what is the spectacle they speak of (These Situationists)? I promise to come back to playgrounds, but I think this inquiry is important before I can move to figured worlds juxtaposed on physical space.
"All that once was lived has become mere representation."
Debord
Its hard to argue that we now live in a reality that is far more mediated than even five years ago. The technology that allows us to communicate en mass using the "interweb", also brings to us the grand illusion of a world that is seamlessly connected and vibrantly generative. Poverty and environmental desecration are one mouse click away, and yet the shock and moral repulsion that they generate quickly fall away when we navigate to safer and more comfortable pages. We consume everything, images, text; in large gulps we take in the global spectacle without the capacity to process the largess or import of what is being ingested. What does this do to our consciousness? How does it change the way we relate to our immediate physical reality? What do we create and project from this smorgasbord of information? The ideas that Debord and his contemporaries played with in the late 60's are even more relevant now, as we have become the ultimate consumers of the spectacle, no event too small to sit back and watch in the comfort of our homes, amongst friends and family.
A few years back I went to party in Queens. A rare visit to the borough of my youth after spending the day walking in a Iraq War protest on Fifth Avenue; I walked in on a group of men who were watching "war" on CNN. Literally. A live feed of bombs and machine guns, four men huddled close the radiation of the screen reflecting on their glasses filled with liquor, their eyes vacant. Famine. CNN. Pandemics, BBC. Gang violence. The History Channel.
"All that once was lived has become mere representation."
Debord
Its hard to argue that we now live in a reality that is far more mediated than even five years ago. The technology that allows us to communicate en mass using the "interweb", also brings to us the grand illusion of a world that is seamlessly connected and vibrantly generative. Poverty and environmental desecration are one mouse click away, and yet the shock and moral repulsion that they generate quickly fall away when we navigate to safer and more comfortable pages. We consume everything, images, text; in large gulps we take in the global spectacle without the capacity to process the largess or import of what is being ingested. What does this do to our consciousness? How does it change the way we relate to our immediate physical reality? What do we create and project from this smorgasbord of information? The ideas that Debord and his contemporaries played with in the late 60's are even more relevant now, as we have become the ultimate consumers of the spectacle, no event too small to sit back and watch in the comfort of our homes, amongst friends and family.
A few years back I went to party in Queens. A rare visit to the borough of my youth after spending the day walking in a Iraq War protest on Fifth Avenue; I walked in on a group of men who were watching "war" on CNN. Literally. A live feed of bombs and machine guns, four men huddled close the radiation of the screen reflecting on their glasses filled with liquor, their eyes vacant. Famine. CNN. Pandemics, BBC. Gang violence. The History Channel.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
playground project
Been thinking a lot about space and how it influences how and what we learn. Living in downtown San Diego's shiny downtown coupled with conversations with close friends around the impact of built environments, along with my focused thought on urban youth and identity, has me pondering playgrounds.
All of these thoughts started with a conversation on the situationists, a group of thinkers in France who furthered Marx's ideas around capitalism, probably over many glasses of wine, and ribald conversations. Here is a little wiki to desribe a little of their thought, not specifically related to spatial relationship, but nonetheless interesting.
Drawing from Marx, which argued that under a capitalist society the wealth is degraded to an immense accumulation of commodities, Debord argues that in advanced capitalism, life is reduced to an immense accumulation of spectacles, a triumph of mere appearance were "all that once was directly lived has become mere representation".[12][13] The spectacle, which according to Debord is the core feature of the advanced capitalist societies, has his "most glaring superficial manifestation" in the advertising-mass media-marketing complex.[14]
All of these thoughts started with a conversation on the situationists, a group of thinkers in France who furthered Marx's ideas around capitalism, probably over many glasses of wine, and ribald conversations. Here is a little wiki to desribe a little of their thought, not specifically related to spatial relationship, but nonetheless interesting.
Drawing from Marx, which argued that under a capitalist society the wealth is degraded to an immense accumulation of commodities, Debord argues that in advanced capitalism, life is reduced to an immense accumulation of spectacles, a triumph of mere appearance were "all that once was directly lived has become mere representation".[12][13] The spectacle, which according to Debord is the core feature of the advanced capitalist societies, has his "most glaring superficial manifestation" in the advertising-mass media-marketing complex.[14]
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
pixilated
I spilled tea on my computer about a week ago exposing the light beneath the screen, the tiny dots that make up the images I see in uniformity. After the obvious consternation that my computer might never be the same again, I began to think about the both the science behind the display, and that lead me to thoughts (during meditation) about the much more complex pixilation that forms what we call reality. These tiny bits of moving particles that seem so concrete in form, yet can be exposed with the right instrumentation to be as elusive as thought. Thought and form. Very Buddhist conceptions. The instrumentation in this relational process, of course, being mind, tying together thought, form and observation of phenomena into a crystallized now.
Trying to actively suspend storytelling has been really hard these last few days.
Trying to actively suspend storytelling has been really hard these last few days.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
brick walls
Mortar and mud, and the crevices between these seemingly impermeable positions. Here live the mice, breeding like only mice can, batches and litters by the dozens, a scattering of lives; gray and shaded in their scurrying ways.
I've spent months now in their home, watching their twists and turns, circus tricks in the kitchen jungle gym of steel shelves and wooden cabinets. I've found them dancing in the cereal, revelling in the crumbs, fornicating under the sink, the steady drip a waterfall to their desperate lovemaking.
I've been told pigeons and giant cockroaches lived here in days past, but I haven't seen a sign of them save for the occasional flap of wings outside my bedroom door, a dried defecation on the wooden steps at the rear of the building. I'll be nostalgic when I leave, as it should be. Here (now), I can't help but feel the weight of this building, its history and its present in constant engagement. It (the building) is an anomaly in a newly minted downtown, a bridge to a seedy, gritty maritime past, where sailors and whores walked the late night streets, and San Diego was truly the first port of call after the Panama Canal.
I've spent months now in their home, watching their twists and turns, circus tricks in the kitchen jungle gym of steel shelves and wooden cabinets. I've found them dancing in the cereal, revelling in the crumbs, fornicating under the sink, the steady drip a waterfall to their desperate lovemaking.
I've been told pigeons and giant cockroaches lived here in days past, but I haven't seen a sign of them save for the occasional flap of wings outside my bedroom door, a dried defecation on the wooden steps at the rear of the building. I'll be nostalgic when I leave, as it should be. Here (now), I can't help but feel the weight of this building, its history and its present in constant engagement. It (the building) is an anomaly in a newly minted downtown, a bridge to a seedy, gritty maritime past, where sailors and whores walked the late night streets, and San Diego was truly the first port of call after the Panama Canal.
Friday, November 21, 2008
New Age lexicon
Energy, vibrations, kundalini, fire, field, source, connection, spirit, qi (chi), chill, cool, flow, feel, guide, guru, individual, centered, healing, micro-molecular, waves, universe, dude.
Can y'all think of anything I missed?
Can y'all think of anything I missed?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
rythms and rhymes
I am collecting new experiences in a slow, methodical way. Not the mainline approach that the New Yorker in me is prone to do, but rather a San Diego approach. Dude.
Woke up and meditated. Drank coffee. Scraped and painted. Wrote. Took a walk. Sat in a coffee shop. Read a chapter of a dense, academic book. Ate a muffin. Set up for classes. Got water urns filled for tea. Ate a delicious meal made by Hip Fu. Drank two glasses of wine. Now, might wander for a walk, or read Pilgrimage of 88 temples (which I plan to do this spring) or watch a few episodes of the avatar.
goodnight.
Woke up and meditated. Drank coffee. Scraped and painted. Wrote. Took a walk. Sat in a coffee shop. Read a chapter of a dense, academic book. Ate a muffin. Set up for classes. Got water urns filled for tea. Ate a delicious meal made by Hip Fu. Drank two glasses of wine. Now, might wander for a walk, or read Pilgrimage of 88 temples (which I plan to do this spring) or watch a few episodes of the avatar.
goodnight.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
eye patch
I believe
In shiny things
a practical application
that finds me pennies
on quiet streets
glimmers on the concrete
that remind me of mines and ships
and sails and concepts like plunder
I wonder if I would make a good pirate
a corsair of the new millennium
my boat; my body, a vessel
sea worthy by all counts
except one
a deep distaste for the deep
you see, I believe
in shiny things
that scatter the surface
lie on the edges
are found in the creases of a smile
let me not find myself in oceans
I can't traverse
seas that leave me sunken
searching and not finding
things I do not need
In shiny things
a practical application
that finds me pennies
on quiet streets
glimmers on the concrete
that remind me of mines and ships
and sails and concepts like plunder
I wonder if I would make a good pirate
a corsair of the new millennium
my boat; my body, a vessel
sea worthy by all counts
except one
a deep distaste for the deep
you see, I believe
in shiny things
that scatter the surface
lie on the edges
are found in the creases of a smile
let me not find myself in oceans
I can't traverse
seas that leave me sunken
searching and not finding
things I do not need
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Ideal
I sense my time here coming to a close as Thanksgiving approaches, with Christmas not far behind. The space has been good to me, and I hope I can give back some physical and mental energy in the days to come.
standardized tests
What do they actually serve to measure? After thirty+ hours of preparation, I took the GRE exam yesterday afternoon. As two of the three sections are instantly graded, I had immediate feedback as to how I "measured" up. The thing that struck me the most about the whole process of preparation and examination is how much of a rite of passage it is to the privileged classes in this country, and to those in the world who are taking it as a ticket to the opportunity for post-graduate studies in the United States. A doorway of entry into the upper echelons, guarded by alegebraic madness, and vocabulary like excoriate, or opprobrium.
Of course, the knowledge of that information is not truly the key to this examination, and those that make the mistake to simply study the information covered will be sorely dissapointed with their scores. The test seems to actually be designed to test ones mental fitness under pressure, as time is a key factor in the exam. It is also not so subtely a test in comfortablity in the culture of western academia .
In the end, I did well. I was actually pleasantly suprised at how well considering the sweat on my brow during the examination when I barely was able to finish a math section in the time alotted. How much the result influences my ability to get into Phd programs remains to be seen.
Of course, the knowledge of that information is not truly the key to this examination, and those that make the mistake to simply study the information covered will be sorely dissapointed with their scores. The test seems to actually be designed to test ones mental fitness under pressure, as time is a key factor in the exam. It is also not so subtely a test in comfortablity in the culture of western academia .
In the end, I did well. I was actually pleasantly suprised at how well considering the sweat on my brow during the examination when I barely was able to finish a math section in the time alotted. How much the result influences my ability to get into Phd programs remains to be seen.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
obama!
Its Thursday and I'm still basking in the after-glow of Tuesdays election results. This election signals a clear break from the past, an opportunity for us to be able to once again participate as proud Americans in a globalized world, and the possibility of some real policy shifts in Washington. Most importantly for me, I now have a leader I can look at and feel represents my personal experience as an American.
Yet, I still have some concerns. the expectations that are heaping on this brothers shoulders, as if in four or eight years we can radically change this countries trajectory, is alarming to say the least. We all got to do our part to lighten his load, and make the changes we want to see.
Yet, I still have some concerns. the expectations that are heaping on this brothers shoulders, as if in four or eight years we can radically change this countries trajectory, is alarming to say the least. We all got to do our part to lighten his load, and make the changes we want to see.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
yet....
There is change afoot. America is has been struggling to find an identity outside of its fascination for consumption and the historical legacy of slavery, racism, and its attachment to Manifest Destiny for at least the last forty years. Rebranding the U.S seems to be the foremost theme in our political landscape, but I think it goes far deeper than simply an image change that most Americans are seeking.
So my indictment of the last post of the very American New Age movement might be a bit hasty and one dimensional. A more thoughtful analysis sees the emergence and evolution of this movement since the sixties as an engine for an uniquely American spiritual understanding and alternative to traditional hierarchical "religious" approaches, and one possible opportunity to subvert the ongoing commodification of everything and everyone . So, I can live with the faulty reasoning, the half baked ideas, the wildly imaginative storytelling; loving some of the characters within this microcosm of the world with this understanding.
The only thing that still irks me is when capitalistic tendencies infect this sometimes naive possibility to hope (much like they have the populist, environmental, and social movements), and what follows is denial and ugly rationalization around its effect from its most charismatic leaders.
Yes, that pains me.
So my indictment of the last post of the very American New Age movement might be a bit hasty and one dimensional. A more thoughtful analysis sees the emergence and evolution of this movement since the sixties as an engine for an uniquely American spiritual understanding and alternative to traditional hierarchical "religious" approaches, and one possible opportunity to subvert the ongoing commodification of everything and everyone . So, I can live with the faulty reasoning, the half baked ideas, the wildly imaginative storytelling; loving some of the characters within this microcosm of the world with this understanding.
The only thing that still irks me is when capitalistic tendencies infect this sometimes naive possibility to hope (much like they have the populist, environmental, and social movements), and what follows is denial and ugly rationalization around its effect from its most charismatic leaders.
Yes, that pains me.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The new age
It seems every time I spend any amount of time in California I run into various interpretations of this idea of a New Age, and everything related to this phenomenon. All if it has to do with some vague notion of spirituality that is rooted in lifestyle choices that always seem to center around extreme vegetarianism/veganism, some sort of eastern influenced movement practice, and a penchant for attempting to conflate scientific theories around the material universe into some sort of guide book for how to frame non-material truths. I'll give you an example:
Yesterday I attended a "talk" by a San Diegan who happens to be staying here at The Ideal Hotel before he leaves on a world tour funded through credit card debt that he has no intention of paying back. He brought up the "golden proportion", a very interesting mathematical proof that establishes a singular proportionality to certain material phemonmena. Similar to Pii, this concept is known as Phi (pronounced phee), and is a fairly complex mathematical concept in and of itself. He stated that this mathematical relationship is proof that we are all connected and that everything is One. Lovely, but when further questioned on his understanding of the mechanics of this proof, he had no foundation in its mathematical core, and simply dismissed that knowledge as erroneous except where it fit his point.
Now, I am fairly open to new things, and am trying very hard not to be a judgemental person, but this type of shit drives me crazy! What was amazing was that everyone in the room was ready to throw out any sort of rigour around his arguement and simply nod their heads in agreement. To futher my consternation, almost everyone I met in the room that night was "swimmy" eyed and had very little of interest to say (except for the couple from Virginia Beach who were the flotsam I clung to in this ocean of New Age sentiment).
Other arugements I have heard over the course of the last week that I'll paraphrase:
"Love is limitless. If we give more love we'll get more love". (Sounds good, right?) " I mean, I dont understand all these conservationists who tell us to conserve water, to conserve money. To conserve.... I mean just like love, we should spend money, use water, and it will all come back to us one day." Huh?
I arrest my case. This New Age hippie bullshit ain't for me.
Yesterday I attended a "talk" by a San Diegan who happens to be staying here at The Ideal Hotel before he leaves on a world tour funded through credit card debt that he has no intention of paying back. He brought up the "golden proportion", a very interesting mathematical proof that establishes a singular proportionality to certain material phemonmena. Similar to Pii, this concept is known as Phi (pronounced phee), and is a fairly complex mathematical concept in and of itself. He stated that this mathematical relationship is proof that we are all connected and that everything is One. Lovely, but when further questioned on his understanding of the mechanics of this proof, he had no foundation in its mathematical core, and simply dismissed that knowledge as erroneous except where it fit his point.
Now, I am fairly open to new things, and am trying very hard not to be a judgemental person, but this type of shit drives me crazy! What was amazing was that everyone in the room was ready to throw out any sort of rigour around his arguement and simply nod their heads in agreement. To futher my consternation, almost everyone I met in the room that night was "swimmy" eyed and had very little of interest to say (except for the couple from Virginia Beach who were the flotsam I clung to in this ocean of New Age sentiment).
Other arugements I have heard over the course of the last week that I'll paraphrase:
"Love is limitless. If we give more love we'll get more love". (Sounds good, right?) " I mean, I dont understand all these conservationists who tell us to conserve water, to conserve money. To conserve.... I mean just like love, we should spend money, use water, and it will all come back to us one day." Huh?
I arrest my case. This New Age hippie bullshit ain't for me.
Friday, October 24, 2008
sniffles
A Friday morning, after a troubled night of sleep, and now the sniffles. The Ideal Hotel is starting to fill with new people, both guests and residents. Hip Fu had his first night here last night, although his stuff preceded him by a week. We are still trying to sort through all the material he brought, from washing machines to stem ware.
Darshana's friends will be arriving this afternoon, and Robert will be visiting as well.
I am feeling a bit loathe to join the masses this morning, and find myself hiding out in my room a little bit, knowing the next few days will be extremely social. I should probably describe all these unique characters I mentioned above, in turn. That will have to wait for another post. For now, its the sniffles, followed by a shower, and then some physical movement.
Darshana's friends will be arriving this afternoon, and Robert will be visiting as well.
I am feeling a bit loathe to join the masses this morning, and find myself hiding out in my room a little bit, knowing the next few days will be extremely social. I should probably describe all these unique characters I mentioned above, in turn. That will have to wait for another post. For now, its the sniffles, followed by a shower, and then some physical movement.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
california dreaming
the marathon begins
Its been a week since my whirlwind tour back to the east coast. I have settled into some semblance of a routine here in San Diego, a routine that has thus far been pretty productive but a bit depressing. Engagement in the social is a very important piece of my personality and here my options in San Diego are limited to a small and sometimes ephemeral RLS community. There are some incredibly sweet people here, and Michael and Holen have been great to spend time with daily, but I am so used to being spoiled by a diversity of people and experience in NYC, that this is taking some serious getting used. to. The other part of the struggle I am having is that I am having to learn to create an independent work schedule for myself. My entire working life has comprised of some sort of structure that has been created outside of myself. Making this structure happen on my own has made me slightly anxious, as I am always trying to find a way to feel like I am doing all that I need to be doing in a moment. The simple act of going to work allows one to have a seperation between relaxation and productivity. Here, I am either constantly working, or fully disconnected from any sort of work with a vague sense of unease creeping at the edges of my mind.
Yet, as I mentioned, I have gotten a lot done, in particular with writing projects. Oh, the reference to the marathon is getting through this strech of time till Thanksgiving. I'll be headed up to The Bay Area then to spend the holiday weekend with Karin and her sisters fam.
Yet, as I mentioned, I have gotten a lot done, in particular with writing projects. Oh, the reference to the marathon is getting through this strech of time till Thanksgiving. I'll be headed up to The Bay Area then to spend the holiday weekend with Karin and her sisters fam.
Friday, October 3, 2008
installment from the road
After a long drive up the coast with Karin, stopping every night to camp, we are at the McCarthy residence in Napa. I am here for one week before I head back east to continue pursuing information around this graduate school thing I have gotten into my head as the next thing I am doing. Before I plunge headlong into describing that process (which is mostly in my head), let me describe a little of our journey up the coast (which is real and has pictures to prove it).
We left the intensity of RLS/San Diego on the 29th of September, with a departure committee gathered in front of the Ideal Hotel. Karin was behind the wheel ( I have yet to get fully comfortable with the idea of driving), and we headed up the coast on the infamous highway 5 towards L. A with no intention of stopping there at all. Of course, as it probably does to many, Hollywoood Blvd seduced us off the highway. We did a little tour of the strip without getting out of the car, and marvelled at the big Hollywood sign as well the walk of stars. Both seemed much more accessible than either Karin or I had imagined, an iconic set of symbols amidst the ordnariness of daily commuter and gritty streets. Suprisingly, L.A on this quick visit left me with some desire to roll up for a weekend and check it out from an insiders perspective. Perhaps I'll call Afropunk James or someone else and make a weekend trip of it from San Diego.
After L.A came the affluent Santa Barbara, our scheduled stop for lunch and a stroll. We ended up in an Indian restaurant with a really good lunch special. The owner was chatty and curious, and shared his reason for living in Santa Barbara. It seemed pretty obvious, the town itself is situated in one of the most scenic spots along the southern and central California coast, is one hour away from L.A yet maintains its small town feel, has plenty of services and cultural activities, and seems a great place to retire or raise children. Of course, underneath the surface I suspect there is plenty of darkness in the way of marginalized populations, and a sizable homeless and transient population.
We left the intensity of RLS/San Diego on the 29th of September, with a departure committee gathered in front of the Ideal Hotel. Karin was behind the wheel ( I have yet to get fully comfortable with the idea of driving), and we headed up the coast on the infamous highway 5 towards L. A with no intention of stopping there at all. Of course, as it probably does to many, Hollywoood Blvd seduced us off the highway. We did a little tour of the strip without getting out of the car, and marvelled at the big Hollywood sign as well the walk of stars. Both seemed much more accessible than either Karin or I had imagined, an iconic set of symbols amidst the ordnariness of daily commuter and gritty streets. Suprisingly, L.A on this quick visit left me with some desire to roll up for a weekend and check it out from an insiders perspective. Perhaps I'll call Afropunk James or someone else and make a weekend trip of it from San Diego.
After L.A came the affluent Santa Barbara, our scheduled stop for lunch and a stroll. We ended up in an Indian restaurant with a really good lunch special. The owner was chatty and curious, and shared his reason for living in Santa Barbara. It seemed pretty obvious, the town itself is situated in one of the most scenic spots along the southern and central California coast, is one hour away from L.A yet maintains its small town feel, has plenty of services and cultural activities, and seems a great place to retire or raise children. Of course, underneath the surface I suspect there is plenty of darkness in the way of marginalized populations, and a sizable homeless and transient population.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
this might be hard for me
Writing without editing my words, especially for public consumption, might be difficult for me as I have a tendency to continously edit my written word, especially if it is in the type written form.
One correction from the last post: In case anyone is confused, I am not going to be in San Diego for a year, nor am I sure to return to New York in a year. The title of a one year journal is arbitrary and the term of one year is to help me focus to keep writing and to keep posting.
San Diego and The Red Lotus Society. These two entities are inseperable in my experience as the RLS is the central reason why I am here an not somewhere else. This warm city by the ocean is a paradise for many, with mild weather year-around, a laid back cosmoplitan feel to its small city center, and lots of fit and beautiful people. I have only spent a few days here over the last two years , but right away I can say that there is a poetic sensiblity that larger cities have that San Diego seems to be lacking. There is no grand ethos that a larger city would have, nor a small cities charm, what you see is what you get.
One correction from the last post: In case anyone is confused, I am not going to be in San Diego for a year, nor am I sure to return to New York in a year. The title of a one year journal is arbitrary and the term of one year is to help me focus to keep writing and to keep posting.
San Diego and The Red Lotus Society. These two entities are inseperable in my experience as the RLS is the central reason why I am here an not somewhere else. This warm city by the ocean is a paradise for many, with mild weather year-around, a laid back cosmoplitan feel to its small city center, and lots of fit and beautiful people. I have only spent a few days here over the last two years , but right away I can say that there is a poetic sensiblity that larger cities have that San Diego seems to be lacking. There is no grand ethos that a larger city would have, nor a small cities charm, what you see is what you get.
first day in San Diego
I am finally starting the public journal I have been saying I would start writing years ago when blogging emerged. It seems a good time as I just arrived from a three day journey on the Amtrak train to the San Diego, California for a year away from my life in the hopes that I can create a new direction and start school in the fall of 2009.
The journey was sticky, dirty, and a little cold at night. It was also suprisingly beautiful and full, as the vistas of this vast country filled the picture windows of the observation car that Amtrak provides. I also met a few Americans, also a suprisingly rare commodity in my life as New yorker surrounded by folks who would not touch that title with a ten foot pole.
The journey was sticky, dirty, and a little cold at night. It was also suprisingly beautiful and full, as the vistas of this vast country filled the picture windows of the observation car that Amtrak provides. I also met a few Americans, also a suprisingly rare commodity in my life as New yorker surrounded by folks who would not touch that title with a ten foot pole.
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